When We Two Parted
by Quill of Minerva
Summary: Beverly spends time with a man she thought dead and truths, deceit and broken promises are revealed. PC. Read and review.
1. Chapter 1

**When We Two Parted**

**Disclaimer:** If only the rights belonged to me, then I would have gotten P/C together in the TV series. But as it is, I don't own them so please don't sue. I am only using for the enjoyment and not for the profit.

**Summary: **Beverly spends time with a man she thought dead and truths, deceit and broken promises are revealed.

**Rating**: PG-13

**A/n:** Many thanks to Jamie, my utterly wonderful beta and who is also a great sounding board for my ideas, whether they are good or are utter tripe.

**When We Two Parted**

**Chapter One: Back Early.**

_Chief Medical Officer's Log: Personal._

_For the past two months, I have been corresponding daily with Walker Keel, a man I once thought to be dead. His supposed death six years ago, was all part of an elaborate plan to deceive the alien neural parasites that attached themselves to a few high ranking admirals. He's been undercover ever since and has only just returned to Federation space. To say I was shocked to hear from him would be an understatement and I approached the situation cautiously. Yes, he looked like Walker, sounded like him, but how could I be sure it wasn't a doppleganger? During our correspondence, he's managed to convince me that he is indeed my old, dear friend. However, I have stated that I want to do a full medical work up on him when we meet on Starbase 16. I am very much looking forward to seeing him again and I suggested that Jean-Luc should join us, but Walker is insistent that he does no such thing. I know things weren't easy between them after Jack's death, but I thought they might have laid old ghosts to rest when Walker contacted Jean-Luc six years ago. Perhaps what went on between them can't be fixed as easily as I thought._

Beverly Crusher had just signed off her computer when the chime to her quarters chirped, letting her know that she had a visitor. She looked over the chronometer and wondered who would be calling on her so late in the evening. The doors hissed open at her command and she was taken aback to see Jean-Luc Picard standing in her doorway. Normally, the captain turning up at her quarters was a usual occurrence, but that was when he was onboard and not when he was supposed to be on shore leave. Surely three weeks hadn't gone by since she had last seen him. It couldn't have been and that gave only one possible answer: that he had returned early.

As she regarded him, she wasn't sure if she was as pleased to see him as she usually was when either of them had taken shore leave or been away on a mission. The argument they'd had the evening before his departure was still heavy on her mind. Though, in retrospect it had been over something trivial, she didn't enjoy having how she ran her sickbay questioned. It had been busy in sickbay; the _Enterprise_ had been called to help evacuate a planet whose weather grid had malfunctioned, causing torrential rain and the banks of the rivers to overflow. Beverly and her staff had been working around the clock dealing with casualties. After most of her staff had pulled a twenty-three hour shift and the panic was finally over when Beverly sent her staff off their quarters to freshen up and sleep. She had just finished tidying up when Jean-Luc waltzed in and demanded to know why the gamma shift was not occupying sickbay. She hadn't been in the mood for his tone of voice and had quickly let her fiery temper get hold of her. She had pretty much told him where to go and not to bother coming back for a very long time. Then she had stormed out of sickbay, nearly knocking over two relief nurses who had volunteered to man sickbay while the others got some sleep. The next morning she had deleted a message on her computer from him without even reading it and did not go and see him off in the transporter room.

"Hello," he said somewhat sheepishly as he stepped into her quarters.

"You're back a lot sooner than expected," she replied as she rose from the chair and made her way over to the nearest viewport. "Concerned Will would blow her up?"

"I have every faith in Data not to let Will do that," he answered with a small smile. "I'm back because Nella was called back to her ship early. A new star is forming."

Nella. Now that was a name that stuck in Beverly's throat like a dry cracker. Nella 'I Am the Most Interesting Person in Space' Darren had come back into Jean-Luc's life two months ago, and since the captain needn't worry about having a relationship with a member of his crew now, their relationship was progressing nicely. Listening to Jean-Luc's conversations about Nella had found a place on Beverly's 'Least Want to Experience' list and only missed out of the top spot because Beverly really didn't want to be assimilated by the Borg.

"You could have stayed," she said as she looked out at the stars.

"I didn't see the point," he answered. "I couldn't see the point spending it alone."

Beverly turned around to face him and crossed her arms across her chest. He looked slightly uncomfortable standing in the middle of her living room and kept shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"Well," she began. "It's getting late and I was preparing for bed so if you wouldn't mind..."

"Are you still annoyed with me about what happened last week?" he questioned.

"No," she answered. "Well, slightly. You know from my reports how we worked around the clock. We didn't have breaks, we didn't even have time to eat, and I told my staff to rest because they needed it. You step into my sickbay and start spouting rules and regulations at me before even bothering to enquire about what was going on."

She really didn't want to get into another argument with him about it, but it seemed to be heading that way. She really needed to rein in her temper, but then she'd been trying for years, and it didn't seem like it wanted to be tamed. It wasn't only the argument that annoyed her; it was also the fact that he had gone off on leave a day after the chaos. He was entitled to leave. In fact, she usually had to order him to take it. She wasn't begrudging him his leave, but she did begrudge him spending it with Nella. Beverly had been inwardly cursing herself all week for getting all riled up over his relationship with the lieutenant commander; she had no right to sulk about his love life.

"I admit that I handled it the wrong way, Beverly," he admitted. "I'd been working hard and I had to be up early to catch my transport."

Beverly looked away and rolled her eyes. What was it about Nella Darren that made Jean-Luc want to rush to be with her? From what Beverly had experienced during Nella's stay, it certainly wasn't her scintillating conversation.

"Yes," said Beverly, turning her attention back to the captain. "You were wrong."

"Well, now that we've established that I was wrong," he said, relief evident in his voice, "I was wondering if you would accompany me to Starbase 16 tomorrow for lunch. After all, I'm still on shore leave so I don't want to waste it."

Beverly managed to curb her acidic reply by taking a deep breath before answering. "Sorry Jean-Luc," she answered. "But I already have plans."

"When I spoke to the others, they didn't mention you had anything planned with them, so I just assumed..."

Beverly felt her temper flare up again. Had she been his last choice of companion? Had he just assumed that she would be willing to drop everything to go somewhere with him?

"It may come as a surprise to you," she said, trying not to sound to angry. "I do have other friends."

"Who?" he questioned.

"I don't think it's any of your business," she said as she made her way over to door and pressed the pad to open the them. "Goodnight, Captain." She glared at him, letting him know that he was no longer welcome in her quarters.

He wasn't a stupid man, so he quickly got the message and made his way out into the corridor. "Goodnight Doc—" he began, but Beverly had already closed and locked the doors.

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

**When We Two Parted**

**Disclaimer:** If only the rights belonged to me, then I would have gotten P/C together in the TV series. But as it is, I don't own them so please don't sue. I am only using for the enjoyment and not for the profit.

**Summary: **Beverly spends time with a man she thought dead and truths, deceit and broken promises are revealed.

**Rating**: PG-13

**A/n:** Many thanks to Jamie, my utterly wonderful beta and who is also a great sounding board for my ideas, whether they are good or are utter tripe.

**Chapter Two: Long Time No See.**

The next morning, Beverly awoke earlier than usual and forced herself out of her bed. She had never been a morning person. Jack used to tease her about it and had even warned Wesley as a baby about waking her up too early. She smiled at the memory, she'd been happy with Jack. Their time together as a family had been cut short, but that didn't take away the love that had been there. She had grieved for him for many years, cutting herself off from any male attention because she hadn't wanted to betray him. Odan had found the key that had unlocked her heart, her guilt, her desires, and had made her feel like a woman. She hadn't truly been in love with the Trill Ambassador but she had cared for him and had a lot to thank him for.

The chronometer beside her beeped and startled her from her thoughts. She was meeting Walker Keel in two hours and she needed to be dressed, fed, and presentable. On a morning like this, she felt that two hours was not nearly enough time to do all that.

Starbase 16 bustled with people as Beverly made her way down the walkway. Most of them seemed to be traders and she had seen a few of the _Enterprise'_s crew mingling with the crowd. She came to a standstill and looked around, hoping to spot Walker amongst the crowd. and For a brief moment she couldn't see him and the thought crossed her mind that she hadn't really been in contact with him, and it had all been a figment of her imagination.

She jumped slightly as she felt an arm encircling her waist and pull her towards one of the exits. She had been about to show whoever was touching her some Klingon moves when she heard a familiar voice.

"Gotcha, Bev."

"Walker!" she squealed as she turned and wrapped her arms around him. As soon as she heard his voice, all doubts about him and if he was really her Walker Keel went out the window. She was just so glad to see him after such a long time.

Strong arms held her to him and she relished in his comforting embrace. She had relied heavily on him when she had lost Jack. He had been her emotional rock when Jean-Luc had disappeared without saying goodbye after the funeral. Walker Keel was the older brother she never had and she loved him for it.

"Oh, Walker," she said as she cupped his face. "I can't believe you're here. I am so happy to see you."

Walker grinned and placed his hands on her shoulders. "You always were excitable over the smallest things."

"This is no small thing," she told him, almost scolding him.

"I suppose not," he relented. "Do you remember when you found that stone that you thought was shaped _exactly_ like the _Stargazer_?"

"It looked identical," she protested, smiling brightly. "You even agreed."

"Johnny and I agreed with you because we didn't want to break your heart," he said with a chuckle. "Jack, on the other hand, agreed because he didn't want to spend the night on the couch. Damn uncomfortable, that couch."

"Nana said that having like that was a good investment because it would make the husband appreciate his wife a lot more," she told him with a grin.

Walker chuckled loudly and offered her his arm; she gracefully slid her arm through his and rested her hand on his forearm.

"Where to?" she asked.

"Thought we could drop by the medical centre so you can check that I am me," he answered as he led her out of crowded transporter room.

With their backs to the transporter pad, they didn't notice that Jean-Luc Picard had arrived and that he had seen the embrace between the two friends. They also didn't know that Jean-Luc hadn't gotten a good look at the man.

An hour and half later, Beverly was completely satisfied that the man in front of her was Walker Keel and she was ecstatic. They now sat in one of the many restaurants that the starbase provided, eating lunch and talking about old times.

"Why didn't you want to me to tell Jean-Luc that you would be here?" she asked, approaching the subject she had really wanted to talk about since she had suggested the three of them meet up and had been shot down. "He would be overjoyed, Walker."

"I'll contact him in my own time," he assured her.

Beverly wasn't satisfied with his answer. "You contacted him when you warned him to be careful," she said. "So why can't you now?"

"He owed me one," Walker said as he picked up his glass and took a sip of the clear liquid.

"What did he owe you for?" she asked.

"Bev, leave it," he told her.

"Walker?"

"Just leave it!" he snapped.

Beverly pulled back and regarded Walker closely, never had she known him to snap at her. She'd heard him snap at Jack and Jean-Luc many a time in the past over something, but with her, he usually changed the subject instead of snapping. He didn't like to raise his voice in front of women, as he had always been taught it was disrespectful. So the fact that he was snapping at her convinced her to leave the subject well alone. Her curiosity was piqued though and she would have to resort to getting it out of Jean-Luc. She would leave it a few days, though, because she wanted the captain to squirm slightly after their argument.

"Bev, I'm sorry for snapping," he said as he reached across the table and held her hand. "I'm still annoyed with him, but you're right, I do need to see him. I promise I'll contact him tonight."

"I am sorry I pushed," she replied as she squeezed his hand before turning to eat the rest of her lunch.

"It's not that I'm withholding anything from you," he continued. "I just need to speak to him first. Why don't you indulge me on some ships gossip, preferably about a certain captain?"

"Let me start with two words," started Beverly, sighing. "Nella Darren."

to be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

**When We Two Parted**

**Disclaimer:** If only the rights belonged to me, then I would have gotten P/C together in the TV series. But as it is, I don't own them so please don't sue. I am only using for the enjoyment and not for the profit.

**Summary: **Beverly spends time with a man she thought dead and truths, deceit and broken promises are revealed.

**Rating**: PG-13

**A/n:** Many thanks to Jamie, my utterly wonderful beta and who is also a great sounding board for my ideas, whether they are good or are utter tripe.

**When We Two Parted**

**Chapter Three: A Face From The Past.**

"You're just going to turn up at his door without letting him know?" asked Beverly as she and Walker made their way out of one of the many transporter rooms on the _Enterprise._

"The element of surprise," Walker said with a playful grin. "Jack and I always enjoyed unnerving Johnny when we could and this is an ideal opportunity."

"But this is different," said Beverly. "He didn't think that you and Jack were dead."

Walker stopped in his tracks and reached out for Beverly, his hand grabbed her and he pulled her to a stop. He turned her to look at him, reached out for her hand, and smiled softly. "You and I both know that he won't believe me if I simply contact him over subspace," he told her. "This way, he can see that I am real and I have all the proof of the mission and also medical records in these chips."

"Be gentle," she asked. "It's going to be a big shock."

"For you, I will be," he said as he dropped a kiss on her cheek and then continued on his way to Picard's rooms on his own.

* * *

Jean-Luc Picard sat staring out of one of the viewports in his room, a book of Shakespeare's sonnets sitting unopened on his lap, shortly after seeing Beverly wrapped around an unknown man, he'd returned to _Enterprise_. Then he had retreated to his quarters and placed himself in a self-imposed silence. Originally, he'd intended to do some reading, but the stars flying past his windows caught his attention and placed him in some type of trance.

The chime of his door broke into his thoughts and he sighed inwardly as he rose from the comfort and solitude of his chair. Perhaps it was Beverly wanting to be friends again; that she was going to forgive and forget all that had been said. The chime sounded again just as Jean-Luc reached the control panel. He pressed the button and door hissed open, unprepared for who he saw standing in the corridor.

"Hey there, Johnny," greeted the man who Jean-Luc had thought to be dead.

"Wa-Walker?" stammered Jean-Luc as he tried to process what he was seeing.

"Guilty as charged," Walker said as he held his hands up.

"You're dead," said Picard.

"Jean-Luc, let me explain before you call security," asked Walker as he entered the captain's quarters and handed over the small box that contained the chips. "And please look at these for confirmation."

Jean-Luc took the offered box, never taking his eyes off the man that stood in front of him. He looked like the Walker he'd seen six years ago, though a little greyer and older. He sounded like Walker and he even had the glint in his eye that Walker always seemed to have.

"Sit there and don't move," said Jean-Luc, pointing towards the couch and then making his way over to his personal computer.

Picard watched at Walker followed his orders and sat down on the couch. Jean-Luc sat down behind his desk and opened the box that contained three chips. An hour and half later, Jean-Luc received confirmation that Walker Keel was exactly who he had he was. The chips contained detailed medical files, the mission files, and the personal words of three Admirals. Despite all the evidence in front of him, he had still contacted Starfleet command for confirmation.

Jean-Luc stood up and tugged down his casual top before making his way over the replicator and ordering a cup of Earl Gray for himself and a mint tea for Walker. Walker was still sat on the couch and hadn't uttered a single word while Picard had been going through the chips. The atmosphere surrounding the two men had grown slightly uncomfortable as they stared at one another and wondered who was going to start off the conversation.

"Here," began Jean-Luc, handing Walker his drink. "I took the liberty of ordering you one of these."

"Thank you, Johnny," replied Walker as he took the cup from his friend. He brought the cup to his nose and smiled as the recognition hit him. "Felisa always made the most wonderful mint tea. I was over the moon when she let me in on her secret recipe. I haven't had this for a long time."

"Beverly programmed the recipe into my replicator memory," said Picard as he sat down. "Enough talk about tea. You're alive, Walker, alive."

"I didn't like deceiving you, but I had to do it," said Keel. "It was of paramount importance to the Federation that my death look real and truly affected those who knew me. My main concern was for Beverly and her reaction."

"She dealt with it well," said Jean-Luc. "She's stronger than you think."

"Oh, I know how strong she is," said Walker, looking up at him and straightening his shoulders.

The intense look Walker was shooting towards him made Jean-Luc shift uncomfortably in his seat. It had been six years since the two friends had seen each other, and before that, they hadn't seen one another since the night before Jack's funeral.

"We should have kept in contact," Picard said, breaking the awkward silence.

"I couldn't," answered Walker. "It could have disrupted the mission."

"I didn't mean then," said Picard before he coughed to clear his throat as he felt it beginning seize up. "I meant since Jack's funeral."

Walker drained his cup of tea and then placed it on the table in front him. He leaned forward, his hands interlocking with each other, and looked at the other man. "I believe I tried to," he finally said. "I sent you many communications, but I never got any back. Want to let me know what _that_ was all about?"

"The Stargazer was being re-fitted. I needed to be there to oversee it," said Picard, now defensive. "Once she was back in working order, we were sent out straight away and the missions left me without much time to do much else but catch up on a bit of sleep."

"A ship getting a re-fit is your excuse for not attending your best friend's funeral?"

It had been over twenty years since Jack's death and yet it seemed like only yesterday that he had delivered the bad news to Beverly. The fact that his best friend had died under his command had never left Jean-Luc's mind. It was always with him. The guilt that he felt was punishment enough and he didn't need to listen to Walker's accusations as well. "I was needed," he said.

"Yes, you were needed," said Keel. "But not by that damn ship. Do you even remember what you told me the night before you bolted?"

Jean-Luc did remember. He was never likely to forget what had been said that night. He remembered them sitting on the couch in Jack and Beverly's house with a bottle of brandy in the early hours of the morning of Jack's funeral. They hadn't been to sleep yet because they had been up reminiscing about Jack and their adventures. The brandy had been flowing and Jean-Luc had let his mouth run away. He broke down and finally told someone what Jack's final words had been. As soon as he had spoken the words, he felt like he was betraying the memory.

'_I always knew Jean-Luc,'_ Jack's words echoed through his mind. _'I can't be there for her anymore but you can. Show her that you love her.'_

Jack's dying words had almost devastated Jean-Luc more than his actual death. Despite all that he'd done to hide his darkest secret, Jack still knew what his best friend felt for his wife. The night he had confessed to Walker about what Jack had said, Jean-Luc had felt the burden lift off his shoulders. He felt light and the constant headache he'd had vanished, only to return several hours later when the cold reality of daylight covered him. Not only had he felt guilty about Jack's death, about his feelings for Beverly, but also for involving Walker as well. He couldn't face either of them, especially on the day when they were burying Jack. The great, fearless Captain Jean-Luc Picard had fled the house like a frightened child, leaving Walker to pick up the pieces.

A hand on his shoulder broke into Jean-Luc's thoughts and he looked up to see Walker staring down at him. "Your silence tells me that you remember," Keel said, then pulled his hand from his friend's shoulder and returned to his seat.

"I will not talk about this," said Picard as he went to stand up. He needed to do something. He didn't want to talk about the past.

"You need to," replied Walker. "Or at the very least listen to what happened after you bailed out on us."

"Walker," warned Jean-Luc.

"Don't 'Walker' me," replied Keel. "You _will_ do me the courtesy of listening to me."

Jean-Luc knew he was defeated. He had always known this day would come, when he would have to explain himself, his reasons, and his fears. Walker was right; he needed to know what had happened at the funeral.

"She looked for you," said Walker. "She spent the time she needed to get ready for her husband's funeral looking for you. She thought she had leaned on you too much and that you couldn't handle her grief as well as your own. She was more concerned about you that morning than about herself, Johnny."

"You could have told her something," said Jean-Luc.

"Oh, I lied for you," said Walker. "Nearly killed me, but I did. Of course, she didn't believe me, but she told me that my loyalty was to be commended. Little did she know that my loyalty was to her. Not to you."

Jean-Luc never imagined that she would have gone looking for him when she discovered he had left the house. He had presumed that she would be too busy dealing with Wesley and her own grief to notice that he wasn't there until the actual funeral. He hadn't bolted to hurt her. He'd left because he didn't want to hurt her. That's what he had told himself up until Walker's appearance two hours ago.

Suddenly, Walker spoke again. "Why didn't you stay? Why didn't you stay with her? Why didn't you marry her and have a bunch of kids?"

"I have tried to rectify some of my mistakes and we are friends again, the best of friends," Jean-Luc said, choosing to ignore the quick-fired questions from his friend.

"That's not what I asked."

Commander Riker's voice floated through the captain's quarters, _"Bridge to Picard." _

"Yes, Number One?" asked Jean-Luc, who would be eternally grateful to Will Riker for coming to his rescue.

"_We are receiving a sub space communication from The Breeantic." _

"Patch is through to my quarters."

"_Of course, Sir, doing so now. Riker out."_

"I'll leave you to it then," said Walker, getting up and making his way towards the door. "I'm staying on the starbase for a few more days. I'm open to seeing you again."

"I'll contact you," answered Picard. "It was nice to see you, despite some of your subject matter."

"If Beverly can forgive you," he said seriously, "I can. See you soon, my friend."

"Goodbye, Walker," Picard replied as his friend stepped out in the corridor and the doors hissed shut.

Jean-Luc fell back into his chair and groaned. That had been harder than he'd ever imagined. Walker's final questions were still going through his head, and if he were to be honest with himself, he didn't have the answers, he never had. Then his console beeped, reminding him of the reason why Walker had left his quarters, and he turned his attention to the incoming message from The Breenatic.

...to be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

**When We Two Parted**

**Disclaimer:** If only the rights belonged to me, then I would have gotten P/C together in the TV series. But as it is, I don't own them so please don't sue. I am only using for the enjoyment and not for the profit.

**Summary: **Beverly spends time with a man she thought dead and truths, deceit and broken promises are revealed.

**Rating**: PG-13

**A/n:** Many thanks to Jamie, my utterly wonderful beta and who is also a great sounding board for my ideas, whether they are good or are utter tripe.

**When We Two Parted**

**Chapter Four: Confusion at the Recital.**

Beverly Crusher was sitting behind the desk in her office and staring at the blank screen in front of her. She had decided to drop into Sickbay to catch up on some reports while Walker had gone to visit Jean-Luc. But instead of working, she simply wondered what was going on in the captain's quarters. She discreetly contacted Worf to see if any security had been called to the captain's rooms and she the security chief informed her that no teams had been dispatched to anywhere on the ship. She took that as a good sign and then had tried to get on with work, but her mind hadn't been able to concentrate.

"I'm sure you told me it was your day off," said Walker as he poked his head around the doors of her office. "All work and no fun makes Bev a very dull girl."

"Walker," she said as she immediately rose to her feet and made her way over to him. "How did it go?"

"Good," replied Walker as he took her hand and looped her arm through his. "Come on, let's blow this joint."

"Is that it?" she asked. She had expected more than 'good' and she had hoped he would finally let her in on what had caused the rift between the one-time close friends.

"I bumped into Data on the way down here and he told me that there was a recital on ten-forward tonight," Walker said, steering the conversation away from his meeting with Jean-Luc. "I got the impression that we have to attend."

Beverly chuckled, Data had been in to see her shortly before Walker had turned up at her office and had told her about the recital. She'd also got the impression from the android that she was expected to attend, and because it was Data, she couldn't refuse him. At times, she regarded Data much like her own son, Wesley. Sometimes she enjoyed mothering Data when he would come to her for advice on certain matters and she had enjoyed teaching him to dance. Occasionally, she and Data would book an hour on the holodeck and she would teach him a new dance. He would pick it up instantly and the rest of the hour would be spent dancing and chatting.

"We could have something to eat beforehand," suggested Beverly. "I'll invite Jean-Luc to join us for the meal and the recital. We usually attend these types of things together."

"Good idea," said Keel as they made their way towards Beverly's quarters.

Beverly glanced over at the chronometer and then back at Walker, who was sat on the couch looking at her. They were waiting for Jean-Luc to appear, but he had yet to, and Beverly was growing impatient. When she had contacted him to invite him for dinner with her and Walker, she thought he'd sounded surprised at her request, but he'd assured her that he would be by for dinner unless something came up. He was now half an hour late and he hadn't bothered contacting her to let her know his plans.

"Bev," Walker said gently, "it doesn't look like he's coming. Let's eat now, otherwise we'll miss the recital."

"He could have let us known he was busy," she said with a sigh.

Walker pulled out the chair for her and helped slide it under the table before he seated himself and began helping himself to the spread she had laid out for the three of them. Beverly chuckled as she watched Walker pile the food on to his plate. He was the only one beside herself whom she knew to have such a healthy appetite, though he did tend to put weight on around the middle. They had had matching stomachs when she had been pregnant with Wesley and Walker's excuse was that he was sympathy eating with her.

"Perhaps he's caught up with something on the bridge," said Beverly, picking at her food. Little did she know that he was not on the bridge or doing anything that would detain him from joining them for dinner. He sat in his quarters in the same place as Walker had left him, staring out of the window.

"Maybe," agreed Walker. "No doubt we will see him at the recital."

The meal progressed nicely for the two old friends; they spoke about the summers that they had spent at Walkers aunt's. They laughed at the memory of Jack losing his swimming trunks after diving in and how Walker had hid them behind a rock before running back to the house to pretend that nothing had happened. They could have continued to chat for longer, but time was drawing near the time of the recital and they did not want to be late.

Ten-Forward was surprisingly packed for a mid-week night. Guinan was busy playing hostess and she and Walker struck up a conversation about LerAn Rum and the merits of it. Beverly kept her eye on the doors and was disappointed each time they opened and a crewmember that wasn't Jean-Luc stepped in. She'd hoped her invitation to the meal and also the recital would be seen as an olive branch on her count. They hadn't seen each other since the argument in her quarters and she had wanted to put it behind them.

"Bev," she felt Walker's hand on the small of her back. "It's filling up, so we should grab some seats together before we end up sitting miles away from one another."

"We need to save Jean-Luc one just in case," she told Walker as they made their way over to some vacant seats.

They found three vacant seats near the makeshift stage that had been erected in Ten-Forward for Data's recital and made themselves comfortable. Beverly craned her neck to the right so she could get a good view of the doors and who was coming and going. Data was already onstage when Jean-Luc finally arrived in Ten-Forward. As soon as she spotted him, she waved him over and pointed to the seat beside her. She was taken back when he simply nodded in recognition and went to sit somewhere else.

She tried to turn her attention back to Data's recital, but couldn't concentrate on what he was saying or catch the meaning of the words. The captain's behavior troubled her and she looked back over at him. He sat with Worf and Geordi and he seemed to be looking down at his hands, not paying any attention to Data. She felt Walker's hand on her arm and she turned to look at him.

"You al; right?" he asked, leaning into her.

"He ignored me," she whispered back.

"Maybe he didn't want to walk past all these people who are trying to listen to Data's recital," he said. "So he found the nearest, easiest seat."

"I suppose you're right," she said.

"When am I not?" he asked with a chuckle.

Beverly bit her lip to prevent a small laugh from coming out. It wouldn't look good to laugh during Data's recital especially when at the moment he was reciting 'When We Two Parted' by Lord Byron.

_I secret we met—_

_I silence I grieve, _

_That thy heart could forget, _

_Thy spirit deceive. _

_If I should meet thee _

_After long years, _

_How should I greet thee? _

_With silence and tears._

Date concluded his recital and the gathered crowd broke into rapturous applause. Beverly felt overwhelmed by the poem and she discreetly dabbed her eyes with the corner of her sleeve before clapping along with the others. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jean-Luc making his way to congratulate Data on his successful recital. She rose from her seat and looked over at Walker, who had slipped back into conversation with Guinan and was now discussing a brandy from a remote Federation outpost. Leaving Walker in the capable hands of Guinan, she approached Jean-Luc, who was still talking to Data.

"Doctor Crusher," said Data. "Did you enjoy the recital?"

"Yes, I did," she answered with an encouraging smile.

"From the comments I have received," he said, "I can conclude that it was well received. I am most happy, Doctor."

"If you will excuse me Mr Data, Doctor," Jean-Luc said in his command voice. "There are something things I need to attend to. You read well, Mr. Data."

"Thank you, Captain," Data replied.

"Captain, may I have a word?" asked Beverly, using his title just as he had with her.

"I have Admiral Denby waiting on subspace," he said, matter of fact. "I really should be getting back."

"Of course, Captain," she replied coolly. "Excuse me, gentlemen." She turned away from them both and made her way back to where Walker was still sat. He had never publicly dismissed her in such a way before and his behavior had hurt her. As far as she knew, she had done nothing to warrant that and so she had no explanation.

"Walker," she said, interrupting his conversation. "I'm going back to my quarters. I'm sure if you ask Guinan nicely, she'll break out some of the strong stuff she keeps in the back." She kissed him on the cheek and smiled over at Guinan before making a quick exit from Ten-Forward. She could feel Walker's eyes on her and she knew he would be confused by her sudden disappearance, but she also knew that Guinan would subtly let him know why she'd had a early night.

To be continued...


	5. Chapter 5

**When We Two Parted**

**Disclaimer:** If only the rights belonged to me, then I would have gotten P/C together in the TV series. But as it is, I don't own them so please don't sue. I am only using for the enjoyment and not for the profit.

**Summary: **Beverly spends time with a man she thought dead and truths, deceit and broken promises are revealed.

**Rating**: PG-13

**A/n:** Many thanks to Jamie, my utterly wonderful beta and who is also a great sounding board for my ideas, whether they are good or are utter tripe.

**When We Two Parted**

**Chapter Five: Confronting the problem.**

In the two days that had passed since the poetry recital in Ten-Forward, Jean-Luc Picard hadn't clapped eyes on either Beverly Crusher or Walker Keel. He hadn't intentionally planned on being cold and dismissive towards Beverly when she had tried to speak with him. The manner in which he spoke to her surprised him as much as it surprised her. He had half expected her to come marching into his quarters or even his office demanding an explanation, but she had done neither. After a small amount of detective work on his part, he had found out from Deanna Troi that Beverly had been spending all her free time on the starbase with Walker. Part of him longed to go and join them, to reminisce with them, but the other part of him knew that it wouldn't be the same anymore. There would be awkward silences. And Beverly, in her not so subtle way, would want to know what was going on and that questioning would open a whole new kettle of fish.

Jean-Luc spent the morning in the holodeck taking advantage of his leave while he could. He'd booked the holodeck for two hours and had used one of his riding programmes. The ride through the mountain ranges of Tera had been relaxing and he had almost been able to forget his troubles, almost. His time on the holodeck came to an end far too soon for his liking, and though he did have certain privileges as Captain, he didn't exercise them to prolong his holodeck visit. It would be selfish of him to overrun.

He slowly made his way back to his quarters, coming to a swift stop when he saw Walker leaning casually against the wall. Jean-Luc hadn't been stupid and tried to fool himself into thinking that Walker wouldn't try to collar him again, but his presence outside his quarters threw him. Walker Keel had always had the gift of unnerving him. Sometimes Jean-Luc thought that Walker had made it his mission in life to unnerve him at any given opportunity. Walker had probably coached Beverly on the techniques, because she could disarm him with a simple smile. They both seemed to relish in his discomfort though, yet he knew they didn't mean anything by it. They did it because they cared and he let them get away with it because he knew they cared.

"Things don't change, do they, Johnny?" said Walker as he pointed to the vintage-looking saddle resting over Jean-Luc's arm. "You still have that old thing aboard your ship."

Jean-Luc smiled. "And people still find it amusing that I do."

The doors to Jean-Luc's quarters hissed open when they recognized his presence and he strode in purposely, leaving Walker out in the corridor. He went into his bedroom and placed his prized saddle on its saddle rack, tapping it affectionately before he made his way back to the main part of his quarters. Walker was still in the corridor, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed against his chest.

"Aren't you coming in?" Jean-Luc asked as he crossed the room and headed for the replicator.

"Didn't want to assume anything," replied Walker as he finally stepped into the room, the doors hissing shut behind him.

"You're always welcome here, Walker," said Jean-Luc, not looking up from making his replicator choices. "Can I get you anything?"

"Just a tea," answered Walker as he made his way over to the couch and sat where he had sat on his last visit. " I ate with Beverly before she and the counselor made it obvious that I was not welcome. They were talking weddings, a Betazoid one. I would have been willing to stay and discuss the ceremony further with them but I got the hint after a disaproving look from Bev."

"I still don't think she has forgiven you for telling Adele that you were a Betazoid and that before you dated properly, it would be wise to see how you would look like together at a Betazoid wedding ceremony."

"Adele wanted to do it," protested Walker with a grin. "Until Bev opened her mouth and blabbed. I can still feel the sting on my cheek where Adele slapped me."

"She had a duty to her friend," Jean-Luc replied as he brought over two cups of tea and placed them down on the coffee table. As soon as he words slipped out of his mouth, he wished he could take them back. He had given Walker the perfect opportunity to bring up the subject of Jack, promises, and duties.

Walker did not disappoint. "Speaking of duties to friends..."

"It's different and you know it," Jean-Luc said as he turned to look at his friend.

"Did you enjoy Data's recital?" asked Walker, changing the subject.

Jean-Luc wasn't sure why it had been Walker to change the subject and not him, but he was glad of it. He hadn't liked the way the conversation had been going and was grateful for the reprieve, though he knew Walker and his tactics. He knew that the subject would be approached again at some point during Walker's visit.

"It was enjoyable," answered Jean-Luc as he settled down in his chair. "Data has much improved and now the poems he reads are more suitable."

Walker listened intently as Jean-Luc explained Data's other attempts at reading poetry and delighted in reciting what he could remember of 'Ode to Spot'. Jean-Luc wanted to prolong the poetry conversation for as long as possible, as it was buying him time. The longer he spoke about poetry, the less time Walker would have to bring up Beverly.

"Beverly was extremely upset after the recital," cut in Walker. "Any ideas as to why?"

"I didn't notice," answered Jean-Luc cautiously. "I only saw her briefly. I had a subspace communication waiting for me."

"Running away from her again?" questioned Walker, leaning forward and picking up his teacup.

"I think we have our wires crossed," said Jean-Luc, playing innocent. He knew very well to what or to whom Walker was referring.

"No, I don't think so," Walker replied as he looked over the brim of his cup and caught Jean-Luc's eye.

The questions that Walker had fired at him to other day came back to haunt him as he returned the probing glaze of his friend. Deep down, he'd always known the answers to them; they had been there for the last twenty plus years. They had never changed despite the relationships he had tried to have. He had wanted to stay. He had wanted to marry her. He had wanted to have children with her. And he still wanted all of those things.

"What are you really afraid of?" asked Walker.

"You really want to know?" asked Jean-Luc, his temper rising slightly.

"I have just asked you haven't I?" Walker said, his voice remaining steady.

"I don't want to end up leaving her like Jack did and then her having no one," he blurted out.

He said it. He had finally said it. It was his biggest fear, it had even eclipsed the guilt he felt about Jack's death and his dying words. There was every chance that he would end up on a slab just how Jack had. If he allowed himself to tell her what was in his heart and he ended up in her sickbay dead, she would have to go through it all again and he wasn't prepared to put her through that again.

"But you did leave her," Walker reminded him.

"I regret leaving her like I did but I didn't see any other way out at the time," Jean-Luc began to explain. The words were coming out of his mouth and he could hear them, but it felt as though everything was moving in slow motion.

"Maybe you just should have confronted it."

"With hindsight, don't you think I don't know that?" Exasperated, Jean-Luc clenched his fists together.

"Why haven't you done anything about it?" enquired Walker.

"I was just relieved that we'd managed to salvage something of our friendship," Jean-Luc said, pausing briefly before admitting his guilt. "I wasn't through punishing myself for betraying Jack." Hearing his words as he spoke them, Jean-Luc found himself trying to martyr himself because he had suffered pain. He also knew that playing the martyr didn't suit him and he needed to put an end to punishing himself as he had been.

"For not carrying out your promise or him dying under your command? Because I can tell you right now which one was worse." Walker's words cut through Jean-Luc like a knife.

"What would you know, Walker? You are just as alone as I am," Jean-Luc said. He was getting fed up with the holier than thou attitude Walker seemed to have regarding the situation. He felt badly about trying to wound Walker with personal comments, but he also felt justified in doing so. Walker was probing into his personal life. Why shouldn't the favour be returned?

"I didn't make any promises to make sure someone else wasn't alone," Walker shot back, choosing not to bring his own personal life into the conversation.

"Promises sometimes have to be broken," Jean-Luc said, feeling weary.

"Some promises are meant to be kept," Walker said, entirely calm.

"What would you have me do? Why should I rake all this up again and hurt her?" asked Jean-Luc.

"Explain it to me. Explain to me how this would hurt her more now." asked Walker.

Jean-Luc took a deep breath inwards and tried to regain some composure. Counselor Troi would be having a field day if she were sitting in Walker's place. She was privy to his emotions and feelings anyhow. Talking to Walker was giving him the chance to talk openly about it, and that was something he had never done. He might hate Walker for pushing him into doing this right now, but he had no doubt that he would be thankful later. "It would bring it all up and she would know I've been lying to her for all these years. I would lose her all over again," Jean-Luc said. He suddenly felt very small and almost child-like.

"You never had her. She'd lost you. Have you ever thought that maybe she'd like to find you again?" asked Walker.

"I saw with someone down on the starbase, she doesn't need me," Jean-Luc continued as he remembered seeing Beverly embracing a man.

"That was me. And she doesn't need _me_," Walker said. "And what about this Nella Daren? Why is there one rule for you and another one for Beverly?"

Walker bringing Nella into the conversation had thrown Jean-Luc completely. He certainly hadn't mentioned rekindling his relationship with Nella Daren to anyone but Beverly. She must have told Walker and probably Deanna, who would have told Will and he would have let slip to someone else. His relationship with Nella wasn't important to what had been said so, far so why had Walker even brought it up? What ever he'd been about to say vanished and he felt his mouth fall open.

"Hiding again? Hiding what you feel for Beverly behind another quasi-relationship?" pushed Walker.

"No, it wasn't like that," Jean-Luc snapped. "This isn't about Nella. She isn't in the equation anymore."

"Back to you and Beverly then," continued Walker. "I wasn't the one she needed during Jack's funeral. She was grateful for my presence and my help, but she needed you and she still needs you."

"What makes you think she needs me?" asked Jean-Luc.

"Jack wouldn't have asked what he asked of you if she hadn't needed you," replied Walker.

"What I don't understand is why Jack didn't confront me before his death." It had always puzzled Jean-Luc why Jack hadn't confronted him about his feelings for Beverly. If it had been the other way around, Jean-Luc would have been most distressed and annoyed that his best friend had fallen in love with his wife. He might not have confronted the situation head on, but he would make sure he never left them alone together or encourage outings like Jack had done.

"Just like he knew Beverly well, he also knew his best friend. There wasn't a need for a confrontation, he knew that you would never step between him and Beverly."

What Walker had just said was true. Jack had trusted them both and had allowed the friendship to develop. There was never a time that Jack should have been worried, because Jean-Luc was loyal to his friends and he wouldn't have touched a friend's wife. He was still loyal to Jack after all this time and this had also prevented him from being with Beverly. "How can I even begin to make this right, Walker?" asked Jean-Luc, lowering his head.

"Talk to her," Walker said.

"It sounds so easy when you say it like that," Jean-Luc said as he lifted his head and looked over towards where Walker was lounging about on the couch.

"Doesn't it just?" Walker agreed.

"I don't even know where to start," Jean-Luc admitted. He had a lot to apologize for and that was even before telling her about Jack's final words, his feelings for her, and what he wished for them.

"Well, 'hello' is generally a good start," Walker said with a wide grin.

"Always the wise cracking one weren't you?" Jean-Luc asked with a roll of the eyes. Trust Walker to crack a clever comment when they were having a serious conversation.

"Fine. How about 'there's something I need to tell you'?" Walker suggested.

Jean-Luc couldn't help but chuckle at that final comment. He faintly recalled Beverly saying something like that when Kyril Finn was holding them prisoners on Rutia IV. She had never gotten the chance to finish what she had started, and until he had heard Walker say the same thing, he had forgotten about it as well. It was only now that he was able to ponder what she was going to say to him.

"Go see her Johnny," urged Walker as he rose from his seat and walked over to where Jean-Luc was bent over. "Go to her."

"I will, old friend." Jean-Luc answered as he looked up at his friend. "I will."

**To be continued...**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** If only the rights belonged to me, then I would have gotten P/C together in the TV series. But as it is, I don't own them so please don't sue. I am only using for the enjoyment and not for the profit.

**Summary: **Beverly spends time with a man she thought dead and truths, deceit and broken promises are revealed.

**Rating**: PG-13

**A/n:** Many thanks to Jamie, my utterly wonderful beta and who is also a great sounding board for my ideas, whether they are good or are utter tripe.

**When We Two Parted.**

**Chapter 6: Confessions All Round.**

_If you are listening to this Bev, then the unthinkable has happened—I am not coming home to you. I love you dearly and want to thank you for making my life what it was. I am a better person for loving you, Beverly, and the joy of having our son made me the man I am…I was. I never wanted to leave you like this, so early on in our life together as a family. Please know that I am sorry. I know that my passing is going to be hard on you sweetheart, but I know there is someone to love and look after you, though that someone who might need some looking after himself. I leave you in good hands. _

_All my love,_

_Jack._

Beverly Crusher reached over and turned off her console before staring at the blank screen. She had felt the need to see Jack's final message to her, and perhaps part of her needed to hear his comforting voice. She remembered when she had first received the message; she had presumed Jack had been referring to their son when he had told her that someone would be there for her. At the time, it had been the only plausible person, and she had continued to believe it for many years after his death. In the meantime, she had thrown herself headfirst into caring and loving Wesley, while also throwing herself into her work as a means of forgetting to grieve. Walker had been a tower of strength to her during the funeral and subsequent year he spent with her and Wesley, and without him she would have crumbled. Walker had been there when she had grown bitter towards Jean-Luc, not for being the man who brought her husband's body home to her, but for being the man who had bolted when he had been needed. Walker had remained steadfastly impartial when she confronted him about Jean-Luc, but she had known deep down that Walker was just as angry, if not more so, than her.

No one, aside from Jean-Luc Picard, had been more shocked than Walker Keel when she had contacted him about applying for the Chief Medical Officer position on board the U.S.S _Enterprise_-D. She would have never had applied for the post if she hadn't received a box of chips that had been returned to her a year before the ship's maiden voyage. The box of chips containing Jack Crusher's personal logs had been sitting in storage at Starfleet Command along side medical files, mission logs, and other various logs that had been retrieved from the Stargazer long ago. When they'd finally been returned to her, she had sat up through the night listening to the log entries. Because of those entries, she finally discovered that it hadn't been Wesley whom Jack was talking about in his first message. Instead, it had been Jean-Luc Picard. On hearing those logs, she'd made the biggest decision since agreeing to marrying Jack; she applied for the post upon the _Enterprise_. She hadn't been surprised when her application was blocked. She knew it had been him, but she persisted. Starfleet decided that she was the best candidate, so they overruled Jean-Luc's logged protest. The first few months had been awkward, but slowly and surely the friendship they had once shared returned, and she began to understand why he had left her. Unknowingly, they had helped each other to heal, but Jack's death was still there, like a black void between them.

A beep from chronometer reminded her that she needed to stop thinking and get a move on. Beverly rose from her chair and made her way into her bedroom to dress. She and Walker had arranged to have dinner on the starbase, as the _Enterprise_ would be leaving tomorrow for next mission. She'd loved spending time with Walker and she would miss him dearly. They had already spoken of arranging some leave to coincide with each other so they could spend sometime on Caldos. Walker loved the planet. When the chime rang, She had just slipped into her forest green dress and she ordered the doors to open to let Walker in.

"I'll be right out, Walker," she called out. "Just making myself presentable." She thought it strange that he hadn't made some witty comment, but didn't ponder on it for two long, as she needed to fix her hair.

"I hope we don't have to wait long for the food," she continued as she stepped into her shoes. "I haven't eaten since lunch, so I am ravenous. I was so tempted to help out Deanna with the double chocolate sundae she ordered. Well, not that she'd let me even if I'd asked." She reached over for the black shawl and wrapped it around her shoulders before making her way into the main living room. "Walker, you are very quiet," she said as she entered the room. Then she came to a sudden stop when she saw that it hadn't Walker who had entered her quarters. "Oh, it's you."

"Hello to you too," replied Jean-Luc.

"I wasn't expecting you," she answered, as she looked him, one of her hands resting on her hip. "And besides, what did you expect? The red carpet? Last time I saw you, you were incredibly rude."

Beverly stifled a smile as she saw him shift uncomfortably from foot to foot. But she didn't feel sorry for him like she would usually do in such a situation. Usually, she would break the ice, offer a drink, and make him relax. However, this time he deserved to feel uncomfortable.

"I behaved incorrectly."

At his words, Beverly raised her eyebrow, but still remained silent, waiting for him continue. She certainly wasn't going to accept those pompous words as an apology.

"I do have my reasons and that's why I'm here," he continued. "I need to speak to you, Beverly."

"I am having dinner with Walker," she told him.

"He can wait," he said.

Beverly's eyes widened, and she was about to let her temper get the better her when he cut her off before she could open her mouth.

"He knows I'm here, so please don't lose your temper."

"I wasn't going to," she replied as she turned her back to him and made her way over to the sitting area. "Are you going to tell me why you've been acting like a pompous arse?"

Not many people could get away with attacking Jean-Luc's persona, but she was one of those few who could. In private, she never minced her words; she was always straight to the point. If she disagreed with him professionally, she would do her very best to rein in her disagreements till they were alone. She couldn't always keep a lid on her views, and sometimes she did overstep the mark when in public, but he usually gave her the look and she would shut up. She got away with more than any of the other senior officers did, and because of that she was usually the one volunteered to speak with him.

"I'm not sure where to begin," he said, showing no signs of even hearing Beverly's comment about his behavior. "May I sit down?"

Beverly waved her hand towards one of chairs, a growing sense uneasiness beginning to envelop her. Whatever he needed to speak to her about, it had to be serious. Maybe he was ill. Maybe he was marrying Lieutenant Commander Interesting. Maybe he was leaving her again.

He sat down awkwardly and clasped his hands together, not looking at her and instead looking at his clasped hands. The silence between them was becoming uncomfortable and Beverly felt as though an unseen hand was wrapping around her throat, squeezing the life out of her. She rose from the chair she'd been sitting in and made her way over to him. She dropped to her knees at his feet and placed her hand on his knee.

"Jean-Luc," she said softly. "Are you ill?"

Beverly didn't want him ill, she would never wish that on anyone, but it was bit more preferable to her than him marrying Nella.

"No, no," he assured her as he placed one of his hands over hers and squeezed it. "There's a lot more life in me yet. I need to talk about Jack. I need to explain my actions and why I didn't come to the funeral."

"Jean-Luc, we've been over this," she said as she looked up at him. "I don't blame you. We all know the risks of traveling amongst the stars, and yes it was hard, but no blames lies with you."

"Jack knew," he whispered.

"Yes, he did know."

"He knew my secret," he revealed as he turned to look away from her.

"Jean-Luc, what are you talking about?" she asked, the uneasiness returning to the pit of her stomach.

"He lay dying in my arms and he told me that he always knew."

"What? Jean-Luc, you're scaring me," she said as she reached up and cupped his face with both her hands. She made him look at her, her eyes searching his for answers.

"I was meant to be his best friend," Jean-Luc continued as he returned her gaze for the first time that evening. "I loved him like a brother, and yet all the time, I wished I were him."

Beverly's thumb stroked his cheek, offering comfort. His hazel eyes were dark with unshed tears and his voice sounded so sad, so defeated. She knew he blamed himself for Jack's untimely death, but she had never known that he had truly wanted to trade places with her deceased husband.

"Never wish yourself dead, Jean-Luc," she told him softly. "Please never wish that."

"No," he said in a strangled voice as he tried to look away. "You misunderstand. I was in love with you, but Jack knew despite all my efforts to keep it hidden from him. I betrayed him in the worst possible way, and he never held it against me."

Beverly's hands dropped from his face and fell into her lap as she stared at the man motionlessly sitting in front of her. From Jack's personal logs she had been able to conclude that Jean-Luc had cared for her, but she didn't know that he had been in love with her. Jack had known, and yet he had not told her. She couldn't help but feel annoyed towards him for keeping it to himself. Perhaps with hindsight, it explained why Jean-Luc was always a bit cool towards her and she assumed he'd only tolerated her because she was married his best friend. Jack was always determined to make them friends and she couldn't understand that now. Why had Jack been trying to make them friends when he knew of Jean-Luc's feelings?

"I tried to stay away," he continued, "but Jack seemed hell-bent on making us friends. I thought I'd hidden my feelings, so I just presumed he wanted us to be friends because we were like family. But he knew all along, and yet he allowed me near you. I don't understand it. I never did and I don't think I ever will, Beverly."

"Would you have ever done anything to hurt him?" Beverly asked suddenly.

"No, never, not intentionally," he answered, frankly honest.

"Then there's your answer," she said softly. "He knew he could trust you, Jean-Luc. You didn't betray him because you didn't act on your feelings."

"His dying words to me were 'I can't be there for her anymore but you can. Show her that you love her'. I promised him that I would be there for you but I wasn't. I got scared and I fled, leaving Walker to pick up the pieces."

"And this is what made you and Walker fall out?" she said, her voice soft and comforting.

"Yes, he was angry with me for going back on a promise and hurting you in the process. At the time, I thought I was saving you from hurt. I thought I was doing the right thing. But it wasn't, was it?"

Beverly closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. The vivid memory of the morning of Jack's funeral returned to her, but for the reasons unlike other widows. She had been getting ready when Walker had appeared at her door with a solemn look on his face and she had presumed it to be there because of what day it was. As soon as Walker had told her that Jean-Luc had disappeared, she had stopped what she was doing and went looking for him. She had wanted to talk to him, tell him that it hadn't been his fault, and that she wanted and needed him to be at the funeral. Because she had been looking for him, she had been late for her husband's funeral, and she still hadn't found him."

"I looked for you," she said. "I thought you left because you felt you shouldn't be there or that I didn't want you there. I thought I had pushed you away and it was my fault that you had gone."

"No, Beverly, nothing was your fault," he said as he took her hands and held them tightly. "It was my struggle and I had to deal with it on my own."

"You know," she said as she rose to her feet and sat down beside him. "Jack told me that there was someone to look after me and that he would need looking after as well. For many years, I thought he was referring to Wes, but I later found out through his personal logs that he meant you. That's why I asked to be assigned to the _Enterprise_. I've tried to tell you that many times, but I always get interrupted by something or someone."

He turned to face her as she watched, their hands still joined, and his shoulders not so slumped as they had once been. She let go of his hands, and she saw a glimmer of fear flitter through his hazel eyes. Needing to dispel his fear and let him know that everything was fine, she opened her arms out to him and beckoned to him to her. But he remained still, stiff, and detached. She smiled softly and knew she would have to do more than open her arms to him; she would have to go to him and wrap her arms around him. She moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around him as best as she could. At first he stiffened at her touch, but after a few awkward moments, he relaxed into her embrace and gave himself over to her. He sagged against her and let the tears fall from his eyes, soaking into the dress she was wearing. Her fingers stroked the back of his neck as she held him tightly.

"Forgive me Beverly," he asked, his voice muffled.

"Always, Jean-Luc," she answered as she reach under and brought his chin up so he was looking at her. "I think a lot has been said tonight, and a lot more needs to be said, but I don't think it's wise to go on now. We can talk more in the morning."

"In the morning?" she heard him ask.

"In the morning," she assured him. "And before you ask, I am not angry with you or trying to get rid of you."

He smiled and she felt him relax further, which meant that he'd been worrying that she was simply trying to get rid of him. She felt that they both needed a night to sleep on it or plan what they wanted and needed to say. She wanted them both to have a clear head and now that something's were out in the open, the talk would be easier tomorrow.

"What about your meal with Walker?" he asked as he pulled away from her embrace.

"We'll have breakfast together in the morning before we break orbit," she told him. "Walker won't mind when we meet as long as food is offered."

"He loves his food more than you do," said Jean-Luc with a small grin that made him look years younger. "But his love of food shows, while yours never does."

"Good genes," she replied confidently. "And the amount of secret exercise I drag myself through."

"I'll see you in the morning then," he said as he stood up and pulled down his top.

"I'll come and find you once we leave the starbase," she said. "You're still on leave for three more days, so I'll come and find you. We can talk and I'll expect you to feed me."

"Goes without saying," he said before making his way towards the doors.

Beverly rose and walked over to the doors with him. She reached out and placed a hand on his arm. He stopped and turned to look at her and she pulled him into another embrace. He welcomed this embrace more quickly than he had the other one and clung to her as she was to him.

"See you tomorrow, Jean-Luc," she said as she pulled back from him slightly and looked into his eyes. There was still some guilt reflecting in them but she hoped that after tomorrow she would dispel it for good. She leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, then took a step back and smiled. "Jack was right when he said we needed each other."

"Goodnight, Beverly," Jean-Luc said tenderly as he cupped her cheek with one of his hands and brushed his thumb over her cheekbone.

Beverly closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, her breathing hitched up a notch when she felt his lips brush against hers again. It was soft and tender, but over as quickly as the kiss she had given him. The door hissed open and he walked out of her rooms, leaving her standing there, her eyes still closed.

To be continued...


	7. Chapter 7

**When We Two Parted**

**Disclaimer:** If only the rights belonged to me, then I would have gotten P/C together in the TV series. But as it is, I don't own them so please don't sue. I am only using for the enjoyment and not for the profit.

**Summary: **Beverly spends time with a man she thought dead and truths, deceit and broken promises are revealed.

**Rating**: PG-13

**A/n:** Many thanks to Jamie, my utterly wonderful beta and who is also a great sounding board for my ideas, whether they are good or are utter tripe.

**When We Two Parted**

**Chapter Seven: Logs from the dead.**

The _Enterprise_ had disembarked from Starbase 16 two hours before and was making a steady pace towards its next destination, a courtesy visit to the planet Cellet. The Cellets had joined the Federation fifty years ago and had enjoyed much trade with them since. From time to time, the Federation would pay a visit and it was its flagship's turn to pay said visit. They wouldn't arrive for five days, so the crew who still had shore leave left could use it up enroute on board the _Enterprise_.

Beverly Crusher sat in her quarters, going through a collection of chips and placing some of them into a small box. Once she had sorted them out into their piles, she closed the lid on the box and rose from her chair. Then she made her way into her bedroom and through into the bathroom, where she stripped and entered the sonic shower. The warm water cascading over her brought relief to her achy bones. Before the _Enterprise_ had left the starbase she had met with Walker; they had attended a Klingon Defence Master Class held on the base before having a big breakfast. She had been thrown about like a rag doll and was paying for it now. It had been sad to wave goodbye to Walker, as she had enjoyed his company and loved how easy they had been with one another. They had spoken about Jean-Luc before she had left and Walker explained it all from where he had been standing. It had been hard on them all for different reasons, but with any luck the burden had now been lifted and life could move on.

Stepping out of the shower, Beverly wrapped a towel around her lithe frame and another around her head. She wandered into her bedroom and began rifling through her clothes to find the right outfit. She needed to be comfortable because she knew that she was in for a long lunch. She had a lot to discuss with Jean-Luc and also had things to show him, neither thing could be rushed. Finally, she decided on her old faithful blue off the shoulder jumper and fitted leggings. The blue of the jumper always made her eyes look a brighter shade of blue when she wore it, something Jean-Luc would always comment on. Fixing her hair into a French twist, she looked into the mirror and smoothed down her jumper.

"Computer, Location of Captain Picard?" she asked.

"_Captain Picard is located in his quarters," _droned the computer's monotone voice moments later.

"Is he alone?"

"_Affirmative."_

Beverly grabbed the small box as she headed purposely out of her quarters, heading for Jean-Luc's. It wasn't till she was outside his doors that she suddenly became rather nervous and wasn't sure if she was confident enough to show him what she had in the box. She stared at the comm lock and willed it to make a decision for her because she was beginning to back away from it. Seconds later, the doors hissed open and the decision had been made for her. Jean-Luc stood in the doorway, looking at her, a small smile creeping upon his lips.

"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to stay out there all afternoon," he said with smile.

"How did you know I was out here?" she asked as she pushed herself forward and squeezed past him to get into his quarters.

"I asked the computer for your location five minutes ago and it said you were outside," he answered. "I waited and then thought I'd help you out."

"Your help is appreciated," she said, finally relaxing as she put the small box down on his desk.

"What's in the box?" he enquired as he walked over to it and fingered it gingerly.

"Lunch first," she said as she took him by the arm and drew him away from the box. "I'm starving."

Beverly couldn't help but sigh contently as the warmth of Jean-Luc's arm seeped into her hand and then work its way through her entire body. What was it about this man that made her feel safe? What was it about this man that made her feel at peace with herself? How could his presence have such a profound effect on her? She knew the answer to all those questions, but she had never freely admitted them to herself in the all the years they had been serving together on the _Enterprise_.

Deanna knew. Deanna had known from the moment Beverly had reported for duty after beaming up from Farpoint Station. Deanna knew that Beverly was in love with Jean-Luc, but just hadn't had the courage to acknowledge it to herself, let alone tell Jean-Luc.

"Come and sit down," he said as he took her hand and led her towards the set table. "I anticipated that you would be hungry, so I've laid on quite a spread." His deep voice was seeped in good-natured amusement as he pulled out her chair and guided her to sit down.

"I hope you aren't calling me greedy," she said, sitting down and staring around the table at the lunch he had prepared.

"Never, Beverly," he said as he made his way to his own chair. "I'd like to arrive at Cellet in one piece."

Beverly shot him a grin and then began to fill her plate with cold meats, cheese, and salad items, then reached across for a bread roll. She could feel his eyes on her and she realised the feelings it was creating inside her. Always, she had enjoyed being the object that caught his eye. Always, it sent a rush of heat through her body and that had never changed.

"Did you get to see Walker before we left?" she asked as she buttered her roll.

"I met him after your Klingon class," he answered, filling his plate up with chicken and ham. "We had a talk—"

"What about?" she asked, interrupting him.

Jean-Luc looked up at her and shook his knife at her playfully. "You know better than that, Beverly."

Beverly rolled her eyes and reached over for the French dressing to pour over her lettuce. Almost savagely, she stabbed her fork into the green leaves and brought it to her mouth. She shouldn't have interrupted him but she couldn't help her curiosity. Felisa had always told her that curiosity was a good thing because it showed an interest, but had warned her to pick the moment and to ask carefully. Beverly usually forgot that part of her Nana's teaching and would always find herself chastised for it. However, a telling off from Jean-Luc was very different from a telling off from Captain Picard, and Beverly quite enjoyed a telling off from the former.

"I _will_ say this though," he continued. "I'm glad we are friends again. It was good to see him."

"He hasn't changed, has he?" Beverly said fondly. "Still trying to iron out the creases in his friends. Jack used to say that I was the thread that bound us all together, but he was wrong. It was Walker. I took him for granted after Jack."

"No," said Jean-Luc forcefully. "Walker loves you, he calls you his little sister, and he would have been there for you even if you pushed him away. He was there because he wanted to be with you, to make sure you were okay. If there's anyone whoever let him down, it was me." He held up a hand to stave off her ready questions. "...and don't interrupt me. We've sorted things out now and we're leaving it in the past, where it belongs. We understand one another and also understand the actions and the reasons behind them."

"To Walker Keel then," said Beverly as she picked up her glass and raised it.

"Walker Keel," said Jean-Luc, mimicking her movements.

The meal progressed with ship's talk, more small talk, and a small amount of gossip courtesy of Deanna Troi. Though Jean-Luc would never admit it, Beverly knew he liked to be on top of the ship's gossip. His excuse was that he liked to know what was going on and if it would affect his crew, but Beverly also knew that though he did like to know for those reasons, there was still a part of him eager to know it all for his own personal amusement.

"Why don't we take our drinks to the couch Jean-Luc?" Beverly suggested as she gracefully rose from her seat and began tidying up the leftovers.

"I'll do that," he said as he came to her side and took a plate from her. "You go and replicate us some drinks and I'll join you once I've finished here."

Beverly didn't argue, she touched his arm lightly in thanks as she passed him and made her way over the replicator. She ordered them a cup of earl gray each and then made her way over to the couch area. As Jean-Luc tidied up behind her, She looked out of the viewport, her thoughts drifting to the box of chips that was placed upon his desk. A warm hand on her leg made her look up and into the warm hazel eyes of the man who had been a constant in her life for past six years.

"Penny?" he asked as he sat down beside her.

"Don't I usually ask you that?" she said with a small smile.

"Usually," he agreed. "But I beat you to it this time."

Beverly slipped her hand over his, which was resting on her thigh, and gave it a gentle squeezed as she looked at him.

"I have something things I want to show you," she began. "I think they'll help you, help us."

"Okay," he agreed.

"Once we've seen them," she continued, "we can talk about where we go next."

Beverly watched as he nodded and she could tell that he was slightly unnerved by the situation. She squeezed his hand tighter and pulled him up with her as she rose. He followed her willingly, but she could feel the tension in the grip of his hand.

"We need to use your console," she said once they reached his desk.

Jean-Luc sat down in his chair and looked at the blank screen in front of him while Beverly reached over and grabbed the black box. She perched herself on the arm of Jean-Luc's chair and loaded the first chip. Then she placed her hand on his shoulder as the console flickered into action. She heard an inward gasp of air as they both saw Jack Crusher looking back at them.

"Beverly..." questioned Jean-Luc.

"Just watch and listen," she said softly before dropping a soft kiss on the top of his head.

Jack Crusher's voice rang through the captain's quarters as though he was actually in the room with them.

There he was on screen, looking fresh faced and ready to take on the world.

"_I thought he didn't like her. I thought she'd done something to annoy him. I thought they just clashed. But god, how wrong was I? I didn't see it and it was right there in front of my eyes. Well, Bev is always saying I need my eyes tested and now I think she was right. Johnny loves my wife. He's in love with her. There he was, sitting in my kitchen, watching my wife cook our dinner. Staring at her as though she was the only thing in the room and that everything else had faded into the background. I know the look, I had it when I first fell in love with her. Hell, I still have it when I look at her. I've wanted Johnny to find someone, but my wife? I don't think so. Can't believe I didn't see the signs sooner. Could it have been anymore clear? My best friend is in love with my wife. Never thought he would betray me in such a way. I thought I knew him. I don't know what to think anymore, but I do know he isn't going to be spending anytime alone with my wife."_

Jean-Luc stiffened as he heard the words and Beverly knew what must have been going through his head. What Jean-Luc was hearing was one of his worst nightmares. She hadn't wanted to show him this log entry, but she had needed too. This log entry set up the entries that would follow.

"Beverly, what's the meaning of this?" asked Jean-Luc, pain and despair evident in his voice.

"You'll see," she said softly, wanting to comfort him.

"This is cruel," he said, turning sharply to look at her. "I never thought you would be like that."

Beverly ignored him as she leaned forward and changed the chips over. She settled back into her sitting position and leaned against the captain slightly. He pulled away from her and sat forward in his seat.

"Jean-Luc, I'm not being cruel," she offered as she reached out to touch his shoulder. "Watch this one."

_"What was I thinking? I trust him with my life and I know he'd never do anything to hurt me. I know he won't overstep the mark. I do know him, he's like a brother to me, and hell, what must he be going through? I have the woman I love and she returns that love, but what does Johnny have? I love and trust them both dearly. I have no need to be worried. Oh god, Johnny, I bet you're beating yourself up over this, and that's why you don't like being with her.'_

Beverly felt Jean-Luc sit back into his chair and lean into her, his hand resting in her thigh again as he listened to the entry. Seeing her dead husband on the screen in front of her was bringing up memories: his smile, the way his eyes twinkled, his childlike enthusiasm. She missed him, but it wasn't in way she used to because her heart had moved on. There would always be a place in her heart for him, she could never forget him, but he wouldn't want her heart to be wasted on the dead. He'd told her more than a few times that if he went before she did, he wanted her to love, to be happy again.

She moved forward, intent on inserting the next chip when Picard beat her to it and did the change over himself.

"_I've wanted them to be friends and now they are. I was worried that Johnny might find it hard, but Bev, she surprised me, she made it her mission to get him relaxed around her and slowly but surely, he came around. The look is still there occasionally, but somehow he keeps a lid on it. It's gotta be hurting him, but it doesn't show. It's the type of man he is, show nothing and then no one sees your weaknesses. He's so tightly wound that one of these days I fear he's going to spring off into the next quadrant and we won't see him for dust. I hope that doesn't happen."_

The words hit close to home for Jean-Luc, for he had done exactly what Jack had predicted. He had sprung off to get away from a situation, to get away from her. When had Jack become so insightful? When had Jack become the serious one?

"Do you remember that I made you come with me to that awful production put on by the locals," said Beverly as she squeezed his arm. "You didn't want to come, but I kept on at you."

"You went on and on," he said, recalling the memory. "I was finding it increasingly hard to say no to you and so I caved."

"But we became friends," she said softly.

"The best of…." he added. "Is there any more?"

"Just one," she said as she swapped the chips over and placed the final one into the slot on his console. "This is one of the last ones he made, Jean-Luc, and the most important one."

"_I really don't think much about death. No, that's not true. I can't help but think of it considering what I do for work. When Lovett told me that she's left messages for her loved ones in case she died suddenly, I realised I needed to do the same thing for mine. I started making Beverly's today, but I couldn't finish it. I couldn't bring myself to. I don't want to say goodbye to her, I don't want to leave her, but someday it could happen. What I do know is that if the worst comes true and we're blindsided by my death, I can have some comfort that Johnny will be there for her. My best friend will be there to look after her, to love her and Wes as they should be. I need to tell him that, to make sure he knows that I don't begrudge how he feels, and that I expect him to say something about it if I die. Beverly deserves a long life, one that includes love that's alive, and not attached to some dead guy whom she married when she was young. She's too young for that. Hell, I'm too young for that ...now I know why I don't think about death. I'm all macabre, almost assuming I'll die, like someone's stepped on my grave. I'll do the rest of this later."_

"He never got to finish it," observed Jean-Luc, staring at the dark screen.

"No," she agreed as she began to put the chips back in the box. "How do you feel?"

"It's a lot to take in," he said, looking over at her. "I think I need some time to…"

"Think it over," she finished for him.

"You always know what I'm thinking," he said with a smile.

"Not always, but I like to think I know you," she answered.

"You know me better than most," he said as he stood up and placed his hands on her shoulders. "I like it."

Beverly reached out and caressed his cheek with her thumb. She loved looking at his face, taking its features, his eyes, his nose, and his mouth. His mouth was something she could stare at for hours and she could easily slip into a daydream regarding them and what they would feel like against her skin.

"Beverly," he urged. "Did you hear what I said?"

"Hhmm?" she questioned as she tried to fight the blush that was threatening to appear on her cheeks.

"I said it might be wise if we meet up later this evening," he repeated. "Gives us both time to sort through all the jumble."

"Oh, okay," she replied. She wasn't sure if having time to think about it separately was a good thing or not, but she wasn't going to push the subject. She was going to let him set the pace and she would follow him.

"Hey, come on," he said, cupping her face and looking into her eyes. "I just need a little time to process a few things. You don't need to worry, I'm not going anywhere."

Beverly felt herself relax and let out the breath of air that she hadn't been aware of holding. "Let me know when you want to talk," she answered softly. "I'll be waiting."

She closed her eyes as she felt his lips against her lips, a soft kiss, just like the one they had shared the night before. His lips lingered there longer then they had yesterday, and it took all her will ower not to wrap her arms around him and deepen the kiss. She stepped out of his arms and squeezed his hand before exiting his quarters, leaving him to his thoughts.


	8. Chapter 8

**When We Two Parted.**

**A/n: **A huge big thank you to my beta reader, Jamie. I would also like to thank everyone who has read this story and an extra thank you if you left a comment. I am over the moon that you have been enjoying the story. There is only one chapter left after this one and that is the epilogue. Enjoy.

**Chapter Eight - Righting wrongs.**

The chronometer chirped, shaking Jean-Luc from his thoughts. He glanced up and saw that it had been three hours since Beverly had left him to his thoughts. He'd been under the impression that it hadn't been that long, an hour at the most. The time that passed concerned him, as he was still no better off in his thoughts than when she had left.

Jack's words still echoed through his mind like a scream down a well.

When Beverly had first loaded the chips into his console, he hadn't known her reasoning behind it, especially after the first clip. A fleeting thought that she was doing it to hurt him had popped into his mind, but Beverly's words and her comforting presence dispelled the thought quickly.

Seeing Jack again had been strange, the years had rolled by and though his memory would not be forgotten, Jean-Luc had forgotten what he had looked like. He always had Jack's voice in the back of his mind, it served as a reminder of what he had done and over time, it had become a comforting presence. As Jean-Luc thought about the voice in his head, he found that it wasn't tinged with malice as he thought it always did. It was soft, nonjudgmental, and encouraging. How could he not have noticed that before? Simple. He hadn't wanted to hear it.

Jack Crusher had been one of the most loyal of friends. He'd stood beside Jean-Luc and trusted his judgement time after time. No friendships were without their clashes, they'd had some spectacular ones of their own during their friendship. Jean-Luc threw his head back and laughed loudly when he remembered the argument over Shakespeare. Jack had called him outdated and boring and Jean-Luc had taken umbrage at the comment. They didn't speak for a week and hadn't intended to speak to one another at all until Beverly knocked their heads together and told them to grow up. In retrospect, it had been a petty thing to fall out over and both had been rather embarrassed about such a foolish argument.

Before Beverly, Jack and Jean-Luc had behaved like most unattached Starfleet officers would when on shore leave. A girl in every port was near enough true for both of them. Though, years later, they'd both looked back at those times with deep regret. The Jack-the-lad persona faulted when Walker Keel introduced them to his sister's friend, Beverly Howard. She had waltzed into the living room and flashed a brilliant smile in their direction before playfully ruffling Walker's hair, then disappeared with Sophia Keel. After that brief meeting, Beverly Howard had become the topic of conversation. Jean-Luc, despite being a Frenchman, was cynical of 'love at first sight' but as soon as his eyes fell upon her, he became a firm believer. He didn't get to see her again until Jack announced he had found the one to settle down with. It never crossed Jean-Luc's mind that Jack had swept the redhead off her feet and somehow convinced her to marry him. The shock of seeing them together had thrown Jean-Luc off balance and he immediately grew distant, withdrawing himself from the situation. Jean-Luc had thought that his presence wouldn't be missed, but he hadn't counted on Jack's stubbornness. Jack hadn't been prepared to cut his best friend out of his life, and had pursued him and continued the friendship.

Over the years, Jean-Luc had often thought about what would have happened if it had been Jack called away for command training and not him. Would he have married Beverly instead? Would they have had a child? Would Jack have been his commanding officer? Would he have died like Jack?

Jean-Luc clapped his hands together, breaking the silence in the room that was threatening to overwhelm him. It did him no good to dwell on the past. He had only just realised it, that he had been living in the past: keeping the guilt he felt close, refusing to move on, to get over it and to live his life. Now he was going to move forward and grab the future with both hands.

Jack had forgiven him. Beverly had forgiven him. It was time to forgive himself.

With his decision made, he rose to his feet and marched out of his quarters, his determination propelling him forward. He passed crewmembers in the corridor but he didn't register them as he strode forward. Reaching his destination, he reached down and pressed the button on the door. He waited a moment before the doors hissed opened and he was greeted by the most beautiful of sights, Beverly Crusher.

"Jean-Luc," he heard her whisper his name as he stepped into her quarters. He reached for her hand and squeezed before leading her over to the couches. Without speaking, he gently pushed her down on to the couch and then sat down beside her.

"Let me speak," he said, never letting go of her hand, his thumb stroking circular patterns on her palm. "Jack's words have haunted me since his death. I felt disgusted at myself for loving my best friend's wife and then to find out that he'd known the entire time... it tipped me over the edge and I just couldn't deal with being near you. I ran and in doing so, I became the man Jack thought I would never be. I became a coward."

"Jean-Luc…" Beverly began.

"Ssshhh," he said as he placed a finger on her lips. "I'm not finished yet. When I was given command of the _Enterprise_, I wanted the finest doctor in the Fleet and that was you, but I didn't want you here. I didn't want you here because you reminded me of what I had run away from. It soon became apparent that you weren't going anywhere despite my reservations. To detach myself from you, I reverted to how I behaved with you when you and Jack were first married. I saw you as the woman Jack married, was married too despite him not being with us anymore, and that's how I have continued to look at you."

"I am not that woman anymore," she cut in. "I am Beverly, just Beverly. I want you to put the past behind us and allow yourself to show both of us that love me."

He dropped her hand and reached out to cup her face with his hands. "What if I can't be the man you want me to be?"

"A man who is inflexible, stubborn, frustrating, and one who sometimes can't see beyond the end of his nose?" she said looking back at him, her blue eyes misting over. "You already are."

"Stubborn?" he questioned, a smile playing on his lips. "Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?"

He watched as she shot him the smile that melted his heart, that same as the first time he saw her. She was truly beautiful and he had been a fool waiting this long to tell her his feelings. Jack had died knowing that Beverly would be loved again, but probably hadn't expected twenty years to pass before it finally happened.

"What else are you afraid of?" asked Beverly softly.

"I don't want to leave you on your own," he revealed.

"Jean-Luc, you and I both know the dangers of our jobs," she began. "You have ended up in my sickbay more than I like and I'm sure you've sent me down onto planets that you would have rather not have, but we've come through. We can't live with 'what if's'. We need to take what we can and enjoy it."

What she had said was true. He had instructed her to join away teams that were beaming down to unknown and dangerous situations and he had been a patient in her sickbay, more than he even liked. They couldn't control their missions, but they could control what they did in their time together.

"Do you think you could have a relationship with a renowned bachelor?" he asked.

"Might need to iron out a few creases, but I think I could quite easily," she answered with a smile.

"You might have to bear with me," he said softly. "It's all going to be a little new to me and I might need some guidance. I've been alone for a long time."

"Jean-Luc," she said, looking him in the eye, a playful twitch appearing on her lips. "You haven't exactly had an empty bed of late, so don't give me that."

Jean-Luc felt himself turn crimson and he looked down at his feet as he tried to recover himself and find the words that needed to be found. "Yes, well, I have had relationships but…" he began.

"I know," said Beverly, touching his face gently with her fingers.

"You do?" he asked as he looked back up at her. Looked into her eyes and saw understanding shining back at him. She had entered into short-term relationships for the same reason as him, to shut out loneliness, to try and block out the pain of loving someone that they shouldn't, and to have comfort.

"I love you," she whispered as she moved closer to him.

He pulled her into his arms. "I love you, too."

His arms wrapped around her, bringing her up against his body and his face buried into her shoulder. He could smell her hair and he relished in the sensations it was creating in his body. She was moulded to his body as though they had always fitted together. He planted a series of small, delicate kisses on her neck and mumbled his love for her against the pale skin. He felt her move her neck to the side, giving him more access and encouraging him. He didn't need to be told twice so he continued his kisses until their lips met in a heated exchange. It wasn't like the soft kisses that they had shared over the past few days, this kiss was full of passion, want, and need. Their tongues battled for supremacy, hands finding gaps in clothing so their flushed skin could be caressed.

"Jean-Luc," Beverly panted softly as she pulled away from him, her lips swollen from their kissing.

"Hmmm, yes my love?" he asked, the words easily falling from his lips.

"Make love with me?" she whispered into his ear as she pressed herself fully against him, grinding as best she could.

"Oh yes," he answered, the words hitching in his throat as he spoke them. Without another word, he managed to slip his arms under her and lift her up so she was cradled in his arms. He caught her lips with his again as he moved them into the bedroom where he was going to show her exactly how much he loved her, and in doing that, exorcising the ghosts that he had carried with him for years.

...To be continued...


	9. Chapter 9

**When We Two Parted.**

A/N: Yep, it's the final chapter everyone. I really hope you have enjoyed the story and I want to thank you for taking the time to read it and an extra special thank you to those you left comments, I appreciate it. I don't think I would have been able to finish this story without the gentle prodding from my super-duper beta Jamie so thank you for all your help concerning this story. You have been a star.

A/n2: Hope everyone has a fantastic Christmas.

**Epilogue:**

The morning Caldos sun shone through a small gap in curtain, bathing one of the occupants of the four-poster bed in sunlight. Jean-Luc Picard rolled over, his back to the intruding light and his arm sough out the comforting warmth of the other occupant of the bed. He curled himself around her and nuzzled into her shoulder, a big smile taking over his face as he took in her scent. His eyes were still closed as his hand moved down from her waist to her thigh. Her skin was warm and smooth to the touch and he massaged her thigh lovingly as he pressed himself up against her, hoping to wake her. He opened his eyes a few moments later when his ministrations seemed to be going unnoticed by the sleeping woman. Her eyes were still closed, but the smile on her face told him that she was indeed awake and enjoying his attentions.

"Good morning Mr Picard," she said a few moments later, her eyes remaining closed.

"Good morning yourself Mrs Picard," he countered. He grinned to himself as he spoke the words, they sounded wonderful to his ears. He had first heard them eighteen hours ago, after Will Riker had married them and he knew from that moment that he would never grow tired of hearing 'Mrs Picard.'

"Sleep well?" Beverly asked as she turned slightly and snuggled into his bare chest, her hands coming to rest on his bottom.

"I was ready for sleep when we finally got around to it," he replied. He was grinning again and anyone who didn't know him would think he was the village idiot if they saw his permanent grin. Would they understand that he was grinning madly because he had been up for most the night making love with his wife? Probably not, but with the mood he was in, he would probably tell them.

"Hmmm." She giggled softly as she remembered their night's activities. "We couldn't have gotten much sleep."

"Not that much, but I can easily say that I've never been this relaxed or as full of energy as I am now after such little sleep," he remarked as he gently pushed Beverly onto her back and carefully straddled her.

Jean-Luc looked down at his beautiful wife and smiled once again. Her hair was fanned out on the pillow, surrounding her like a flamed coloured halo. It was slightly tangled after their previous love making, but that only added to her beauty. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers softly as his hands ran up and down her arms. She returned his soft kiss as her own hands ran up his chest till they reached his broad shoulders. Jean-Luc felt his body tingle at her soft touch and he shuddered involuntarily as her fingers brushed the sensitive spot at the base of his neck. He loved it when she touched him there; none of his past lovers had found that spot, yet she had found it straight away. He deepened the kiss by running his tongue along her rosy, full lips and she allowed him entry, their tongues battled for a moment before they gave themselves both over to the sensations they were creating within one another. Jean-Luc's hands had made their up to her full breasts and his fingers toyed with her pert nipples. He was definitely a breast man when it came to Beverly Picard, they fit his hands perfectly and he loved to shower them with gentle nibbles and kisses.

So caught up in each other, they failed to hear the footsteps coming up the wooden staircase outside their room until it was too late. The door swung open and Walker Keel appeared carrying a breakfast tray.

"Put her down, Johnny," he said with amusement. "I've brought you breakfast."

"_Walker!_" yelled Jean-Luc as he quickly made sure that Beverly was covered. He didn't want her to be anymore embarrassed than she probably already was. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I made breakfast for you both," he said, setting the tray down on the nearby table. He didn't seem to have any idea of the embarrassment his presence caused for Jean-Luc and Beverly.

"You could have knocked," Jean-Luc said as he discreetly reached down and fumbled around for his pyjama bottoms.

"In case you hadn't noticed Johnny, my hands were holding the tray," Walker replied, indicating towards the tray. "Felisa would come back and haunt me if I dropped the breakfast on that antique rug just because you wanted me to knock on the blasted door." He acted as if he'd only just noticed the doctor. "Morning, Bev," he said.

"Morning, Walker," replied Beverly, who surprised Jean-Luc by leaning forward and peering at the breakfast tray. "Oh bacon, yummy."

Jean-Luc looked at Beverly and couldn't understand why she wasn't hiding in embarrassment under the covers. She didn't seem bothered by his presence and certainly didn't seem to care that she only had a thin sheet covering her. He watched as Walker reached over and handed Beverly a plate before pouring her a cup of tea. As he listened to Beverly thank Walker, Jean-Luc grew even more annoyed by his friend's presence.

"What are you still doing here?" Jean-Luc asked.

"Keep your hair on," said Walker. "On second thought, it's a little late for that. Anyway, I'm shipping out later on today."

Jean-Luc frowned at the hair comment and was about to say something back when he felt Beverly's hand on his back. He turned to look at her and saw that she was smiling softly at him.

"Open up," she ordered as she scooped some bacon and sausage on to her fork and fed him.

Obediently, he opened his mouth and chewed, though he was annoyed Walker for interrupting them, he had to admit that Walker made an exceptional breakfast.

"Oh, that's good," commented Jean-Luc, reaching over and whipping a streak of bacon off Beverly's plate.

"Get your own, mister," she said as she snatched the streak back.

"I thought we were sharing," he said as he watched her put the bacon into her mouth and chew quickly.

She pointed to the other plate on the tray and then continued to eat her breakfast while Jean-Luc helped himself to the other plate.

"As much as I would like to continue watching animals eating in a zoo," said Walker with a small chuckle. "I need to do a few things downstairs. Don't stay up here all day, I would like to see you before I go."

With that, Walker made his way out of the room, turning around and shooting them both with an amused grin before shutting the door and making his way back down stairs.

"Did it not bother you that he just walked in while we were you know what-ting?" Jean-Luc asked once he was sure Walker wouldn't be barging in.

"It did, but it's not the first time he's done that to me," she replied.

"He's done that before and you didn't think to warn me?" questioned Jean-Luc.

"Well, I was busy last night and Walker was the last person on my mind, my love," she replied as she reached out to him and cupped his face in her palm. "You know what he's like, he just wanted to ruffle your feathers. And if I recall correctly, both you and he had barged in on me and Jack, so don't pout like that."

Jean-Luc smiled and leaned into her touch, his eyes closed for a moment, savouring her touch before he pulled away and kissed her affectionately on the nose. They settled down to a comfortable silence while they finished off their breakfast. Once that was done and dusted, they decided to make Walker wait a little longer for them to arrive and took delight in having a very long shower together.

An hour later, Jean-Luc and Beverly Picard made their way downstairs and went to look for Walker. He was sat on the swing bench that Felisa had insisted he build for her on his first visit to Caldos. It had become her favourite place and Beverly had warmed to it over the years as it looked over the small stream that ran past the house.

"I was going to give you another ten minutes and then I was going to barge in on you again," said Walker with a chuckle as he turned to face them when he heard their footsteps.

Beverly made her way over to the swinging bench and sat down on it, dropping a small kiss on Walker's cheek before sitting. Jean-Luc leant against the fence and looked at his wife and one of their closest friends. It was almost like old times but things were different now and though he still missed Jack, he knew that Jack still lived on in their hearts and memories.

"You'll never believe what I found in Felisa's dresser drawer," Walker announced as he dug deep into his pocket.

"I'm not sure I want to know," said Beverly as she regarded Walker closely.

Walker chuckled and then triumphy pulled out a small box. He then opened the box and pulled out a medium sized misshapen stone and handed it to Beverly.

"Oh, I can't believe she kept it," Beverly said with a delighted giggle as she looked at the stone in her hand. "You know, on closer inspection, it doesn't resemble the _Stargazer_ at all."

"Hallelujah!" Walker cried as he shot an amused look towards Jean-Luc.

"It looks more like the _Enterprise_."

"What?" asked Walker.

"See that's the saucer section," she began to explain as she pointed at features that she could only see.

"It looks like a rock, Beverly. A rock," Walker stated as he took the stone from her and put it back in the box. "Just a bloody rock. Johnny, help me out here."

Jean-Luc just smiled and remained tight lipped much to Walker's dismay. Beverly got up from the swing and told them both that she was going back inside to make some tea. Walker stood up and walked over to where Jean-Luc still stood.

"What was that all about? I mean, it's rock and it looks nothing like the _Enterprise_." Walker said, playfully demaning an answer for Jean-Luc's lack of help on the matter.

"I know that, you know that, but at the end of the day, old chap, I don't want to be spending my honeymoon on the couch," Jean-Luc replied as his lips broke out into a big smile.

"Now I know why I hate gate crashing honeymoons," Walker responded with a shake of his head. "I think I might take an early transport off the colony. You're so happy, Johnny, and you don't know how much it means to me to see you like this."

"I am very happy... and it might have never happened if you hadn't been around to give me a good talking too. I am forever in your debt."

"None of that debt stuff," said Walker. "Just be happy and look after Bev, that's all I ask. Now, I am going to grab my stuff and leave you two lovebirds alone to enjoy your honeymoon."

The two men embraced and then Walker made his way back into cottage to say goodbye to Beverly and grab his stuff. Jean-Luc had to chuckle to himself as he thought about the care-free attitude he seemed to have right now, he never thought himself to be care-free, but perhaps being with Beverly and Walker helped him be who was truly was. What he did know was that the past was behind them all now and he had the future to look forward too. Promises that had been made years ago had now finally been kept and he felt like a free man. He felt free to love the one woman he had always loved and he could love her freely because she was now his wife. They would not be parted again. He took one more look at the garden Felisa had worked so hard on for so many years before making his way back into the house. Perhaps there would be children in their future, but he didn't ponder that thought for very long because as soon as he entered the kitchen, Beverly was in his arms and everything felt right in the world he knew.

THE END.


End file.
